And the day begins...

I woke up at 6:30 this morning. No reason, I just woke up. It was good in a way. I got to enjoy the quiet of the house before anyone was up. I remembered to roll the garbage to the street before it was too late. No one interrupted me in the bathroom.

Maybe there is something to this early morning thing...

My kid can be so funny...

Sometimes the little things crack me up...

The light in our stairwell to the basement is burned out, so if you want to see where you're going you have to leave the door to the kitchen open so the light will spill down the stairs.

The basement is one of Nick's favorite places to talk on the phone incessantly. (Can you see where this is going?)

Just now, while talking on the phone to his girlfriend, he opened the basement door to go downstairs and closed it behind him automatically. From the other side, I heard a loud "Crap!" I couldn't help it, I started laughing. Even he had to laugh.

Survival

Well, I've survived another Tuesday from hell.

Dance studio from 11 a.m. on. Various kids in and out of class. I went by school today to turn in my wellness center entry-thingy. I was going to get some of the signatures I need, but it was too close to the end of the day -- most of the people I needed were gone already. That's my plan for tomorrow. And to get to the unemployment office.

I finally made the returns to TJMaxx that Nana gave me. Unfortuately, it had been more than 30 days so I could only get a merchandise credit. That really gripes me. I mean, I can understand if you don't have a receipt, but with the receipt?? And 30 days is such a relatively short amount of time, especially if you don't shop often. And what about gifts? If you buy ahead because you find a good deal, that means they can't be returned if the person doesn't like it or it doesn't fit. It's like once you spend some money, you're not allowed to decide there's nothing there that you have any interest in owning. Grrr.

Anyway, I did look around and found some birthday gifts for Olivia so it worked out okay in the end. I found her a charades game for kids because Wendy said the girls loved playing so much at their Scout meeting. I also found her a set of sheets and matching curtains that have appliqued flowers on them. They're so pretty, and she's so girly, she'll like them.

I talked to Dr. P today finally. Turns out he wants to schedule Nick for another heart cath, just to check on how he's doing. When he talked to the transplant coordinator, he said he specifically asked about them delaying Nick being put on the transplant list and she said no. They are still planning to list him when the 6 months is up. (Of course, that is soooo not what she said to me. I'm still not sure we're not getting the run-around.) But anyway, according to Dr. P, if he has gotten worse when they do the cath at the end of July, he's going to push to go ahead and list him. We'll see...

When I got back to the studio after shopping, it turned out that I was supposed to be covering a pre-school class which I had totally forgotten. I was lucky that I showed up right on time!! Ian and another girl helped me with them -- 10 2-4 year-old in tap shoes!! Brea told me today that she's not gonna be able to teach as many hours in the fall since she found a full-time academic job. She's gonna suggest to Laura that I teach adult tap and musical theatre I. I'm ok with the musical theatre, of course, and I'm hoping that my pre-school musical theatre makes this time, but I'm pretty nervous about adult tap! I'm not sure I can stay ahead of them. But Brea said she'd help me out in exchange for help with the drama class she's gonna have to teach at school. That would be at least 3 classes a week which would be great, considering that would almost pay for Ian's tuition in the fall. If she gives me another pre-school class too, it would be covered! Yay!

#1 son returned from Nebraska last night. He had a really good time and said it was worth the money we paid for him to go, thank goodness. He's really tired though. Said he didn't sleep well the whole time.

Things in general aren't going well for him. He's really upset by the whole "you're doing too well for a transplant" thing. He says he can tell he's getting worse but he knows they won't do anything because he isn't dying right now and that by the time they do anything it will be too late. I can't even imagine what he's going through right now. I wish those damn doctors would hurry up and give us some more information.

He said he feels like a burden to everyone because he feels so bad all the time. Everyone wants to make him feel better but they can't. Fifteen is too young to feel like that.

What I did on my summer vacation

Finally finished the boys' room and it is spotless! It actually looks like humans might live there instead of wild animals! I even got the old computer hooked up for games and homework and a desk chair is on the way over, so Nick will have a nice surprise when he gets home today.

We're about to bake peanut butter cookies for him, the kind with chocolate kisses on them. Yum! For a yucky, rainy day the 2 younger kids are getting along with each other without fighting (knock on wood), so I thought I'd give it a try. I hope we and the kitchen survive this!

You'll never believe what I found...

So today I decided that since the boys never completely clean their room to my satisfaction, I would do it and get rid of whatever I don't want them to have. I figure I gave them a zillion chances to do it and when I go in, all bets are off.

I sorted all the cds, cleaned off one of the dressers, straightened the closet...then I got to the nightstand. I found an assortment of old food, pennies stuck to the drawer, burned matches, etc. All in the trash; except the pennies, those went into the piggy bank. I threw away all the notes (without reading them). If Nick comes back from Nebraska and throws a fit, I'm gonna tell him that if they meant that much to him, they wouldn't have been thrown in the floor. Under the bed -- more notes and dirty laundry...and Vaseline. Uh-oh.

Then I reached up to the closet shelf to file all the empty cd cases in the actual cd drawers. Found his where he's been hiding stuff -- all the meds he didn't take, the old lighter and empty cigarette pack (from when he was smoking; several months ago). Then I opened the other drawer. Found hand cream and a porn video. Ewww! This is not what you want to find in your child's room. Especially when he shares said room with his younger brother. I told his dad this afternoon that he has to talk to him when he comes home tomorrow. Just not something I want to deal with!

I know he's 15 and he's gonna do stuff like that, but I don't really want to find evidence of it!

Website accomplished!

I finally got the beginnings of #2 son's website posted! Yay! He's really excited about it. I did the logo for him and am helping him choose content. He's only 10, so he really can't manage it all by himself. He's hoping to sell some t-shirts on it eventually to help pay for some of his dance stuff. Pretty cool, huh? You can check it out here.

Have I mentioned lately how big an asshole my ex is? Ian and Olivia were over at their house today while I sat with a neighbor's mother. Ian called me after I got home to find out if he could spend the night (it's not the ex's weekend). I reluctantly agreed because I couldn't think of a good reason not to. At that point, Ian said he still had to ask Nana if it was ok (not a good sign). She sent him to ask his daddy, who I could hear clearly in the background:

I: Hey, Daddy, is it okay if I spend the night?

X: NO! Not tonight, I just need a break from everyone tonight. (he had just arrived home from work, poor baby!) And besides, we're going to the movie tonight at 10 AND I don't want to get you part of this weekend when I'm gonna have y'all next weekend and then leave you alone half the time. (never mind that 1. Ian would already be in bed if he made him act normally and 2. his parents whose house it is would be there)

This was all spoken very irritably. Ian just said okay and when he got home he told me he couldn't stay because Daddy was going to see Land of the Dead tonight at 10. Suddenly, it was all clear. It's so much more important for him to see the movie on opening night than to spend time with his son. Never mind that he's supposed to get the kids for 4-6 weeks in the summer (yeah, that's gonna happen!) He wants to make sure he only has them on the allotted weekends so it won't interfere with his social life. Grrr! Oh, well, I'm sure it will come back to bite him one day...hopefully!

Another day, another dollar...I hope

I'm going out to post flyers and talk to people about my errand service. So far, everyone thinks it's a great idea, but no one is calling. Today I'm going to hit the assisted living complexes and some businesses that might need courier services. Keep your fingers crossed! The end of the month is coming up and funds are running dangerously low.

On the home front, Olivia made it through her spend the night last night without calling me to come get her. She did call me around 10:00 to tell me she was having a great time and that she was being sweet. She's growing up fast...

Last night Ian and I worked on his website a little bit. When it's posted I'll put up a link.

People make me crazy

I am so freakin' tired of people giving me grief, asking the same damn questions over and over and over. Here's a news flash -- when there's something you need to know I'll tell you!!

I swear if my mother asks me one more time whether I've heard from the doctor about Nicholas I think I'll scream. I told her from the beginning that I didn't know how long it would be before they got back to me with any more news. She asks me every day whether I've heard anything, like I'm not gonna tell her when I do. Grrr!

And I'm sick to death of my friend the drama queen grilling me on whether there was any drama of any kind while she was out of town. I have a distinct feeling that there would be far less drama if she stayed out of town. I love her to death, but sometimes I could just shake her. Especially when she acts like whatever she has to say is life or death, but when I'm talking its ok to just cut me off to do something else. Double-grrr!

Good things that happened today:
1. Olivia and I had fun at the pool. I actually got in the water and tried to help her with swimming. (Anyone who knows me knows that this is quite a laugh!)
2. I just know there was something else...oh, yeah, I had an ice cream cone.

Bad things that happened today:
1. Had to eat at McDonald's. (NOT my favorite.)
2. Tap III was combined with Tap IV but no one called until 15 minutes into class, so we would have missed half of it by the time we got there. Oh, well.

Stuff that is still undecided:
1. Olivia was invited to play with another little girl and spend the night for the first time. She said she was "just a tiny bit nervous about spending the night" but still wanted to do it. I hope I don't get a call about 10 p.m., especially since they live about 30 minutes away.

Pool day

Today is Ian's tennis lesson, so I'm taking Olivia to the pool while he's playing. But this time I'm planning to get in too. That means I have to wear a bathing suit (shudder). I may be able to get out of it thoug -- it's only 72 right now, so it may not be warm enough for me. (I will only get in if its really hot outside.) Cross your fingers!

New site

Yesterday I found a site called Blog Explosion that swears it will increase the traffic to your blog. It appears to work! And I found several pretty cool blogs as a result. Try if if you wanna get more traffic.

I just realized I've been online for almost 3 hours! Playing around with my blog and looking at other people's blogs (now why does that sound so vulgar?? lol)

Found some cool ones that I've added to my links list, aka spare parts now that I've joined blogroll.

Library time

Took Olivia to the library for story time this afternoon and saw a couple of friends with their daughters. This is the kind of stuff I feel like I miss when I'm working full-time at a regular job. The kind of things I want my kids to remember doing together when they are older. Guess I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Anybody know where I can get a sugar daddy? :)

Am I a stalker??

Ok, I added my chat room buddy to my buddy list and I've seen him online several times since Sunday, but never contacted him. I figured, hey, I gave him my email so if he wants to stay in touch I'd hear from him.

Just now I saw him online for about the 5th time today, so I sent him an IM. He was working so I cut it short. For me, this was very daring. (I'm adventurous only in my own head.) He seemed open t ohearing from me, but now I don't know whether to IM him again later, after work hours or whether to wait and see if I hear from him. Hmmm....

How pathetic is it that I'm concerned about what some stranger several states away thinks about me?

Check, check, check

Shower -- check
1 load of laundry -- check
Kitchen -- check...ok, half a check

Library -- on the way!

Maybe a good day

Ok, I decided that today is going to be productive. I have already mowed the back yard this morning (finally -- I was worried snakes were gonna jump on the mower with me!) so the whole yard is done at the same time. Except the trim. I can't start the push mower and I'm still trying to find someone to con into doing it for me.

Ian doesn't go to dance for another hour and a half so I figure I can get the kitchen done, maybe a load of laundry, and probably start something else. It would be unbelievable to have both the outside and inside done at once!

Of course, there is the Olivia factor. While I was outside mowing, she demolished a whole pile of folded, clean laundry that was ready to put away. Apparently, she was looking for something to wear and decided on jeans and a winter shirt. Did I mention that it is currently 81 degrees outside? I'm sure there's some sort of mathematical equation that could tell me at what speed I have to clean in order to stay ahead of her, but I sure don't know what it is!

If I can get everything done before dance, maybe we'll go to the library today...

Home from spending 7 hours at the dance studio. I can't believe Olivia managed to dance for 6 hours today and is still going strong. Oh, for the energy of an almost-6-year-old! I was ready to take her out of some classes if necessary, but she loves loves loves it. She's so proud of herself -- last week she got her backbend by herself and today she was able to stand it up without a spotter. That means she gets to join the Acro II class -- real "big girl" stuff!

Haven't heard from Nick today. Guess he's having too much fun to call his poor mama (lol).

Home again, home again, jiggety jog

Finally home from one of the most boring recitals I've seen. Even the kids kept asking if it was over yet. And then I had to be nice about it all the way home so I wouldn't insult anyone. Grrr. Now I have a splitting headache. I took ibuprofen and washed it down with caffeine as soon as I walked in. Now I'm going to bed.

Ok, NOW I'm gonna move away from the computer and go do stuff.

I love blog surfing.

I feel like I've hit a wall. All I want to do is lay around the house and piddle around. I know that I have to get out and bust my tail if I want to survive, but I'm not sure I can do that today...things are just kind of hazy.

Last night I laid on the couch watching tv and couldn't even bring myself to get up and fix dinner for myself. All I did was eat junk food all day -- yuck.

Tonight I'm supposed to go with Nana to see Susan's recital. She's doing the Wizard of Oz this year. I know the kids will enjoy it, although Olivia may freak when she realizes she's gonna miss 2 classes today.

It's funny how I've stayed close with the ex-in-laws. I don't even know how to explain to people what the relationship is. Someone told me the other day that they just realized that they were my in-laws, not my own parents. Weird. I figured that once the ex got a new honey they wouldn't be quite as friendly, but they are.

Ok, time to stop rambling and get dressed. Ian has dance company today, among other things and I have piles of laundry that I can't ignore anymore.

What a day!

Interesting day, to say the least.

I signed online today, feeling kind of alone since all the kids are gone. I went to see Nick off for Nebraska last night and he didn't even hug me or anything. It really hurt. So anyway, today I thought, I'll make a temporary screenname and see if I meet anyone interesting in a chat room. (I never go in a chat room with my real name so that no one will bother me later if I don't want them to.) Of course, I got the usual im's about n/s/l which everyone knows is just to cyber. I wasn't looking for that. I just wanted to talk.

This guy from California sent me an IM and we started talking. He was really nice and interesting. We chatted for quite a while and exchanged pix (something I almost NEVER do) when he asked me to do some role-playing with him. (We had been talking about flirting) I said ok, knowing that I could stop it anytime. It was so real! It almost felt like a real date. Very seductive, very intriguing, very slow. I told him I wasn't going to do anything with him and he said ok. Of course, things ended up going farther than I intended, but still not all the way. (God, that sounds stupid. It's not like it's real!) It's just been so damn long. He made it very sensuous, not vulgar and cheap. Then we continued talking afterward.

That has never happened to me. AND I was probably more honest and straighforward in our conversation than I ever have been either. I didn't lie about my age or anything! I only changed the version of my name that I use. Before I left, I actually admitted that it wasn't my real screenname and gave him my real one. Did I make a mistake? Hope not, cuz he was really cool.
Now I just hope he actually emails me...

Another long day

I finally was able to spend some time distributing flyers about my business today. I still don't feel like I accomplished much though. I did take one by a printer's to get a quote on 500 of them. That will help b/c I won't feel like I need to be stingy with them since it takes so long to print them. I'm planning to spend some time tomorrow morning taking them around again.

Today was also the first day of summer dance classes. I think all the kids were glad to see each other after a two-week break. I finally got Debbie to come to adult tap with me and she had a great time, just like I kept telling her. It should be lots of fun to have her in class.

Everyone was really impressed with the scrapbook I did for Laura, especially Laura. I was glad everyone wanted to look at it. I just hope it holds up better than the old 3-ring binder album she had before!

Time for bed -- I would love to get to sleep before midnight for a change...lots to do tomorrow.

Comme ci, comme ca

Got back about 2:15 am from DC's recital. We had a good time (I guess) - the dances were good and I'm glad we got to see it, but I swear I'm not trying to travel in big groups anymore!

There were about 25 of us total who all traveled in smaller groups and met for dinner. Trying to get everyone in cars and meeting back up was a pain, but could have been worse. We tried to go the back way to Nashville and of course it ended up taking us forever. That's why I always use the interstate! We got to the mall and made the required visit to Build-a-Bear before heading downtown to the Spaghetti Factory. Of course we got lost trying to get there which made us late. GRRR! (Did I mention how I hate trying to get anywhere in Nashville???) We finally got there and dinner was pretty good until the end. The poor guy who waited on us all alone was very confused when he brought the tickets and half the girls were gone. Then people started just leaving money on the table, while others were waiting for change. The long and short of it was that I got left alone waiting for everyone else's change and to retrieve credit cards. I just don't understand how people can be so inconsiderate. And I couldn't just say no, b/c I was waiting for my own credit card, so I couldn't walk out. When I got to the theatre (5 blocks away) I was so pissed! And no one even said, Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to leave you there alone. Grrr!

Ok, vent over. The recital was good, but long. It didn't get out until after 10:30 and we still had to get back to the cars. It was after 11:00 before we got back on the road and almost midnight before we were completely out of Nashville. So I guess 2:15 was pretty good time! :) Olivia had a blast. She absolutely could not resist dancing along with them, so it was good we were in the back row! Ian had a great time too and is reconsidering going to camp there this summer. (Oh, great, and where will the money for that come from?) So I guess it was worth all the bother and rudeness.

Didn't mean to wait so long...

Wow! I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted. It's been a busy couple of weeks. I thought things would slow down after recital, but was I ever wrong!

Z and I convinced Laura to let us clean the studio hoping that she would be so pleased that we'd get the job of doing it all the time. Now I hate to clean as much as the next person, but it would be great to have the money so that my kids could continue to dance. It took us 5 days and over 30 hours each, but it looks fabulous now. Everyone is raving and we've even had some people ask us if we painted cuz the walls are so clean! Yay! And Laura said we could have the job. Double Yay!

That job took up most of last week and the weekend. Then on Monday of this week, Nick had his regular appointment at the transplant clinic. They poked and prodded him all day then we came home. Of course, over the length of the day he showed out because he was tired (we had to leave at 5:30 am to get there on time) and hungry (he decided not to eat breakfast in the car cuz he didn't want anything). It was worse than having a 2 year old, because at least you can pick up a toddler and put them where you want them. That's hard with a 15 year old!

Tuesday was dance camp for the younger ones. Nick and I had another go around, this time because he and his girlfriend were wandering around outside the Y in the woods instead of being inside where they were supposed to be. Grrr! I ended up having to call Papa to make him mind which ultimately caused my ex to be over here lecturing him. Most of what he said needed to be said to Nick, but unfortunately about 20% wasn't phrased in a very good way. Nick ended up having an anxiety attack and we had to call 911 because we didn't know what was happening. By the time he got to the hospital, he was okay but weak. They sent him home pretty quickly, but it was exhausting to experience.

Wednesday and Thursday were kind of ordinary but busy. I've been handing out flyers about my errand service and trying to get loose ends tied up. This weekend a big group of us are going to Nashville to watch DC's recital. Maybe that will be fun and relaxing!